Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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