physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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