i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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