East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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