I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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