oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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