it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
