I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
