Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We had to coat check the pizza.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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