if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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