It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
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She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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