Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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