Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
