We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks