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So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
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