My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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