Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
