i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.