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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?

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• (903): View more from Texas

  pop tarts are not kleenex

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• (817): View more from Texas

  despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk

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• (646): View more from New York

  Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...

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• (530): View more from California

  You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours

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• (512): View more from Texas

  scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.

  (213): View more from California

  I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..

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