Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

i cant believe jose lima did steroids

(281): View more from Texas

apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball

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(713): i cant believe jose lima did steroids (281): apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball http://tfl.nu/yhdf

Replies (13) Good night (2378) Bad night (2553)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?

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(404): I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of? http://tfl.nu/2d4m

Replies (21) Good night (786) Bad night (5340)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?

(1-337): View more from Louisiana

4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds

(337): View more from Louisiana

mom cant say that college never taught us math

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(337): if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning? (1-337): 4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds (337): mom cant say that college never taught us math http://tfl.nu/a37s

Replies (41) Good night (4414) Bad night (697)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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(201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a

Replies (7) Good night (3385) Bad night (1596)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.

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(404): Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/rur7

Replies (17) Good night (4659) Bad night (976)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?

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(908): just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/nghc

Replies (20) Good night (5259) Bad night (1036)
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(616): View more from Michigan

our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.

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(616): our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time. http://tfl.nu/fvgl

Replies (13) Good night (6573) Bad night (1180)
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(720): View more from Colorado

He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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(720): He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim. http://tfl.nu/2u9p

Replies (8) Good night (3660) Bad night (1330)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.

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(250): Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late. http://tfl.nu/oeer

Replies (21) Good night (1414) Bad night (4945)
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(303): View more from Colorado

ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or

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(303): ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or http://tfl.nu/vwgc

Replies (21) Good night (1860) Bad night (977)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.

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(304): Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch. http://tfl.nu/jght

Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (460)
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(858): View more from California

we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.

(858): View more from California

Where did he get the tophat?

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(858): we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat. (858): Where did he get the tophat? http://tfl.nu/1w08

Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (399)
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(254): View more from Texas

The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?

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(254): The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left? http://tfl.nu/ml3m

Replies (6) Good night (636) Bad night (473)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back

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(505): It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back http://tfl.nu/ajiv

Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (588)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.

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(618): I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away. http://tfl.nu/bvec

Replies (3) Good night (685) Bad night (329)

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