it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
