Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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