yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
