i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were trust falling into bushes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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