he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
