just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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