NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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