No stitches, just platelets and will power
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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