Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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