I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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