why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
