I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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