i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
