Plan B is the new Plan A
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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