I'm gonna have a badass scar
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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