i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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