I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
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Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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