if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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