Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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