We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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