you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
