It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
