i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
