please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
