Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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