Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
