plz talk dirty to me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
