Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize