Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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