I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
