party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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