your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
