Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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