yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
