i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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