i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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