I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
