so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
