Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
