that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize