he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You smell like stripper and shame
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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