so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
