I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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