This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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