You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
