Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single

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(443): View more from Maryland

There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.

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(305): View more from Florida

I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?

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(847): View more from Illinois

being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk

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(216): View more from Ohio

Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire

(213): View more from California

A hand job? Are you 12?

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