I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
