Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays