Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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  (847): okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy. http://tfl.nu/r1l8
  Replies (20) Good night (682) Bad night (5029)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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  (678): so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style. http://tfl.nu/eq3b
  Replies (27) Good night (1446) Bad night (9178)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You know how I know you're gay?

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  (218): Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments (320): You know how I know you're gay? http://tfl.nu/13va
  Replies (36) Good night (6886) Bad night (1083)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know

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  (216): Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know http://tfl.nu/zyp8
  Replies (25) Good night (1114) Bad night (5267)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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  (231): OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ma89
  Replies (80) Good night (2414) Bad night (15517)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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  (678): Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon? http://tfl.nu/v3dn
  Replies (6) Good night (2332) Bad night (892)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.

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  (330): I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in. http://tfl.nu/a5v5
  Replies (9) Good night (2282) Bad night (821)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.

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  (319): I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/0zto
  Replies (16) Good night (1034) Bad night (2373)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...

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  (207): If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will... http://tfl.nu/8p69
  Replies (15) Good night (1146) Bad night (1996)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere

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  (506): And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere http://tfl.nu/qfu5
  Replies (5) Good night (707) Bad night (967)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom

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  (709): He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom http://tfl.nu/rh7h
  Replies (11) Good night (822) Bad night (405)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car

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  (563): Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/64c7
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (315)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.

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  (219): I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo. (1-219): secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world. http://tfl.nu/oy0x
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (287)
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  (845): View more from New York

  So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.

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  (845): So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/55s3
  Replies (5) Good night (1254) Bad night (341)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's

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  (801): And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's http://tfl.nu/7hkf
  Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (170)

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