i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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