Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free