I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
