Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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