I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
